If your life's not exotic enough
Or you feel like you need more camo stuff
If you're tired of the suburbs and you're feeling bored
Or you wanna go to a college you can't afford
If you want to do battle with an evil foe
I know just the place where you need to go

(Chorus)
Join the Army, that's what you should do
Or maybe the Navy is the place for you
But if you wanna be among the really cool beans
Then go ahead and join the Marines

If you want respect from us all
Then turn off your TV, get outta the mall
Travel around to foreign lands
And shoot up everything that walks or stands
And if you want a new hairdo you can try this quaff
By getting your own face blown off

(Chorus)

If your muscular anatomy is looking grim
Working out ain't cutting it at the gym
You can run around in the desert heat
Build up the callouses on your feet
Breath uranium dust, come home to your wife
And be deathly ill for the rest of your life

(Chorus)